The year that was..and the year that will be..

Yes, another year has ended once again, and here comes another year. As I look back over the past year, I could say that it's a battle well fought! 2007 was a year of struggles, conflicts and tears as reflected in my past posts ( the oh so dramatic emotional posts..hehe) but at this point I realized that it was indeed meant for a higher purpose.

S far, 2007 was the year I had the most painful heartbreak (..I don't know if the worst is still yet to come..uh oh..). However, along with the tears and pains are the lessons and values that I learned the hard way. Pain they say is a signal for growth. Remember the story of the clam that complained of the pain on his back which turns out to be a growing pearl? How about the caterpillar which must go through the hard way of coming out of its cocoon to squeeze out the liquid from its body and be the beautiful butterfly it is meant to be? Or how about the story of the potter and the clay? The clay was nothing but a mere clay but the potter takes it and molds it into a magnificent pot. However, the clay complained and complained because of the pain that it got into as the potter shaped and reshaped it and exposed it to fire and air. Good thing the potter didn't give up so in the end, the clay was molded into a beautiful pot.

I am also the clam, the butterfly and the clay. In the past year, I struggled through pains and tears. Whew! There are times when tears just flowed from my eyes with almost no reason at all.( but I'm still w/in my sanity.. those were the times when my emotions just skyrocket) Yes, I admit. I'm too sensitive. I'm too emotional although it may not be that obvious but deep down, I really am. I'm too weak deep down but you know what? I proved that my weakness is my strength because at that moment when I have no one, nothing to hold on to and cling to, in those moments that I'm really down (as in 0 degree below the ground), that I’m really too weak; that's the time when I truly surrendered to the Higher power, and allowed it to take over. Prayers indeed work wonders. As the burden became heavier, greater than my own limited strength, I had no other choice left but to kneel down and look up. That's the moment of my surrender, the moment when I let go of my resistance. The more I resist, the more painful it gets but as I open up, go with the flow of emotions and surrender, that's when I find release. Tears became my means for expressing inner grief that words cannot utterly express.

Along those times when I thought I was alone, when I have no one to turn to, God was there with me. I really don't know how to say it but I felt it. That sort of moment when you were really crying, then you pray and offer it all to Him knowing that He very well knows what you really feel since He is your creator. And after which, you just felt ok ,as if the tears have washed away the pains. As I look back, circumstances have conspired to light up my path. The circumstances I encountered served as my mentors to help me see and understand what I was going through.

As of now, I'm still in the process of getting over those memories but I have high hopes for this year. And I am imploring all the positive forces to be with me as I once again take my journey. I know there will be moments of pains and tears which can even be worst than what I’ve been through but I know I can get through because our Creator, our Boss, our Master and our Best Friend, and at the same time the all powerful King of Kings is with us, and in us.

As He promised:

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

We may have big problems but there is a BIGGER GOD out there who will be us to get through it. So whatever difficulty you may be going through right now or will be going through, lay it all down on His cross and hope for the best! May our hearts be open and be wide enough for all His blessings!