Here's what my heart utter in one of my "moments"...
Oh my Father and Lord
You know how weak my heart is
How easily I get distracted
How easily I get lost
My weak and faltering self
Easily succumbs to temptations
To the wordly pleasure and happiness
That lasts for nothing but a short time
And later on bring pain and tears
But, deep down Oh Lord and my Father
Is the desire to love you
To live for you alone
To follow your will
The path that you have prepared for me
But, weak and limited as I am
I go astray, absorbed in my own selfish desires
Oh my Father and Lord
Strengthen me, mold me
Shatter my resistance
With your strong yet gentle hands
Draw me out of my selfish self
Drown out the anger, pride and selfishness in me
In your ever flowing love and compassion
Oh my Father and Lord
I’m weak, yes I really am
I need you
I truly need you
I want to be like You
Be with me
Oh my Father and Lord
Be with me
In life and death
In darkness and in light
Oh my Father and Lord
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Just When...
Just when..
I'm getting to know who I really am..
I'm opening up, showing up my true self,removing my masks..
I learned how to laugh out loud, again..partly because of the contagious boisterough laughter of peachy, yona and talie..
There are people who accepted me for who I am like Yona, Talie and Dex..
I'm tightening the bonds with the people around me, my felloe MBS people, especially with my sleepmates - Olops, Francis, Lyn, Mech, Peach
I found the buddies who made me laugh and cry by heart..
I shed tears for losing some special people in my life but still there are real friends who showed that there are still hundred reasons to smile and be happy..
I found those people to whom I can freely open up..
There is a shoulder I could cry on, hands to wipe away my tears..
I appreaciate the company of the people around me..
Just when I realized that its possible to have "real friendship", that friendship can truly exist..
That's then the time that we have to part ways. And sadly, it was all too abrupt, too shocking..
Goodbye guys..
I'll never forget:
our daily meryenda at the pantry..
The tusok-tusok ni kuya na ate, ate na barbers - calamares, tokneneng, chicken pop, beef, isaw, bopis
The shawarma ni kuya..
The french fries ni tiya..
The baduya, turon, banana-q, kamote-q ni tiya na may kiray ang kuko..
The daily lunch ni ate na kuya and kuya na bagong-rahay.
Peachy, yona and talie's kalaka..
Our cool, generous, understanding and kind-hearted Sir Dex..
Yona's ever-ready concern, openness, understanding and smartness..
Everyone's blogs, articles and posts
The pressure of editing, of beating the deadlines..
The backlogs
The Secret Ingredients..
Dex, Yona, Talie, Olops, Francis, Lyn, Mech, Peachy, Iris, Tin, Chayee, Ate Razh, Jirl, Yna, Ate Kla, Nayz, Ate Carol, Ruth..and all of you guys!!
Life is indeed a series of let go's, and let God's..
I'll truly, madly, deeply miiiizzz u guys!!! Love u all!!
Godbless us!!!
I'm getting to know who I really am..
I'm opening up, showing up my true self,removing my masks..
I learned how to laugh out loud, again..partly because of the contagious boisterough laughter of peachy, yona and talie..
There are people who accepted me for who I am like Yona, Talie and Dex..
I'm tightening the bonds with the people around me, my felloe MBS people, especially with my sleepmates - Olops, Francis, Lyn, Mech, Peach
I found the buddies who made me laugh and cry by heart..
I shed tears for losing some special people in my life but still there are real friends who showed that there are still hundred reasons to smile and be happy..
I found those people to whom I can freely open up..
There is a shoulder I could cry on, hands to wipe away my tears..
I appreaciate the company of the people around me..
Just when I realized that its possible to have "real friendship", that friendship can truly exist..
That's then the time that we have to part ways. And sadly, it was all too abrupt, too shocking..
Goodbye guys..
I'll never forget:
our daily meryenda at the pantry..
The tusok-tusok ni kuya na ate, ate na barbers - calamares, tokneneng, chicken pop, beef, isaw, bopis
The shawarma ni kuya..
The french fries ni tiya..
The baduya, turon, banana-q, kamote-q ni tiya na may kiray ang kuko..
The daily lunch ni ate na kuya and kuya na bagong-rahay.
Peachy, yona and talie's kalaka..
Our cool, generous, understanding and kind-hearted Sir Dex..
Yona's ever-ready concern, openness, understanding and smartness..
Everyone's blogs, articles and posts
The pressure of editing, of beating the deadlines..
The backlogs
The Secret Ingredients..
Dex, Yona, Talie, Olops, Francis, Lyn, Mech, Peachy, Iris, Tin, Chayee, Ate Razh, Jirl, Yna, Ate Kla, Nayz, Ate Carol, Ruth..and all of you guys!!
Life is indeed a series of let go's, and let God's..
I'll truly, madly, deeply miiiizzz u guys!!! Love u all!!
Godbless us!!!
Experience as the Best Teacher
Experience, they say is the best teacher, but( yes, there's owez the “but"), it is oftentimes a harsh teacher? Why? Because most of the time, we have to go through pains and tears for the lessons to set in. In a classroom setting, we’re given the lesson first and later on, the test to see if we really learned something.
In real life, however, that may seem to work the other way around, the test first and the lesson in the end. We have several means on how we can learn those lessons but still, we need real experiences to test us and give us opportunities to apply those lessons. And yes, the lessons we learn from experiences are still way too different from those we learned through others or through books, net, and many other mediums.
However, no matter how great a teacher an experience may be, it’s still up to us if we’ll be open to the lessons it will teach us, or we’ll just continue to go through those experiences, over and over, learning nothing.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Nang Makitang kang Muli ( A little dose of drama..again..wahaha)
I’ve seen him last ordination. The first next hours and days after that were really..hmmm..sorta painful because it reminded me again of that “hope”, that unsure hope and of course, the happy moments and feelings which might remain as mere part of the past. Well yes,deep down, there is still the flickering hope..(ehem..seems I hear "sana maulit muli ang mga oras nating nakaraan" and "love will lead you back.."..wahaha. Anyway, at least I can laugh now..hehe..)I don’t know if that lingering past would still be part of my future "presents". But then, he seems ok with where and what he has right now. And furthermore, I promised my Father to empty myself with everything bout' him. And I must be true, firm and faithful to that promise. I can’t take away what I offered. I know, He knows what will really make me happy..and how much I struggle to really let go and be faithful to what He wants for me right now. Let him go, Sally.. and let yourself go as well..let go..( Goodbye, I hate to see you go but have a good time, somewhere down the road, our roads are gonna cross again, it doesn't really matter when, or where..hehe)
And as w my family, yes, they need more of my time and attention especially my mom and bunso..
And as w my family, yes, they need more of my time and attention especially my mom and bunso..
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Your Greatest Curse can be your Greatest Blessing!
Gone with those make-over sessions for now. I'm just too damn busy with those piles of "to be edited" tasks. For now, just wanna have a quick post from one of my favorite mentors, Bo Sanchez. And I tell you, he's really worth your time so I'm also urging you to check out his sites.
This post really inspires me..and its true as I look back on what Ive been through. I actually do not believe in coincidences. For me, there's always the reason behind and well, it may be one of HIS ways to tell us something. We may even see it as something negative but HE can turn out those negativities into something positive. Even those that we consider as curse can turn out as our greatest blessings. All we need to do is just to offer those curse to HIM, and He'll surely turn that out into a blessing. There's nothing He can't do. That's how pwerful my, our God is.
Be blessed! Read on...
How To Turn Your Good Friday To Your Easter Sunday
Are you a good person?
If you are, do you wonder why bad things still happen to you?
Harold Kushner wrote a book with this same title and it became an instant bestseller. Because people want to know the answer.
Sorry, I’m not going to give you an answer. (Nobody can.)
Because the problem of suffering will always remain a mystery.
Instead, I’m going to tell you what to do.
I will tell you what to do in the midst of your suffering—so that you can overcome your suffering. How you can turn your Good Friday into your Easter Sunday!
Are you ready?
Let me share with you a powerful story…
Your Greatest Curse Can Turn To Be
Your Greatest Blessing
Michelangelo had a persecutor who was very jealous of him.
(I don’t mean the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but the real Michelangelo.)
The persecutor’s name was Bramante, a famous architect during that time.
By the way, do you know Bramante? I’m positive 99% of you never heard of him. Do you notice how persecutors fade away in the dust, but the one they persecute become legends? An important lesson to remember!
When Pope Julius thought of making a tomb, he asked Michelangelo to do it.
But when Bramante heard of it—and thought of the acclaim that Michelangelo would receive from it—he discouraged the Pope from continuing with the project. True enough, after Michelangelo searched far and wide for the perfect marble for the project—which took 8 long months—he learned that the Pope had abandoned the project. Michelangelo was very disappointed.
One day, the Pope thought of another project.
Upon hearing about it, Bramante concluded that it would be a time-consuming project and would receive very little public acclaim. So he told the Pope to give it to Michelangelo. In his mind, it would keep the artist busy for years—and accomplish nothing of great value.
Besides, it was also a painting job, and Bramante knew that Michelangelo was not even a painter, but a sculptor.
Michelangelo saw the trap. He knew it was a ploy by his enemy to destroy him. At first, he declined. But the Pope insisted, and not wanting to deny his Holiness, he agreed.
The project was indeed time-consuming. It took Michelangelo 4 years to finish, and he almost lost his eyesight because of it…
I’m sure you know the project by now: The Sistine Chapel. The grandest masterpiece of Michelangelo. More than anything, it made him one of the greatest painters of all time.
What was meant to curse him turned out to be his greatest blessing.
Good Friday was supposed to be the greatest curse.
Yet it also turned out to be the greatest blessing.
No Matter What Trials Come,
Keep Doing The Good You’re Supposed To Do
I reflect on this story and look at my own life.
I’ve been serving God for that past 27 years, and I do get my share of little “Bramante’s” scattered here and there.
But without them, I would have missed my greatest blessings: spiritual growth, opportunities to serve, and the impact I have on people’s lives.
My biggest Bramante’s were the two men who molested me as a child.
Because of these indescribable painful experiences, I’ve been able to heal so many people who have the same inner wounds. (You can read more about this in two of my books, Your Past Does Not Define Your Future, and 7 Secrets To Real Freedom.)
I could also think of my other trials in life…
Oh, why do bad things happen to good people?
Here’s my great theological answer: I don’t know.
But this I know. No matter what trials come, I’ll do the good that I’m supposed to do.
And at the end of the day, I will win.
Friend, remain faithful to God in good times and in bad times.
And you’ll see how all things work for good to those who love Him.
And you’ll see how your Good Friday will turn to Easter Sunday.
Don’t ever give up!
May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez
This post really inspires me..and its true as I look back on what Ive been through. I actually do not believe in coincidences. For me, there's always the reason behind and well, it may be one of HIS ways to tell us something. We may even see it as something negative but HE can turn out those negativities into something positive. Even those that we consider as curse can turn out as our greatest blessings. All we need to do is just to offer those curse to HIM, and He'll surely turn that out into a blessing. There's nothing He can't do. That's how pwerful my, our God is.
Be blessed! Read on...
How To Turn Your Good Friday To Your Easter Sunday
Are you a good person?
If you are, do you wonder why bad things still happen to you?
Harold Kushner wrote a book with this same title and it became an instant bestseller. Because people want to know the answer.
Sorry, I’m not going to give you an answer. (Nobody can.)
Because the problem of suffering will always remain a mystery.
Instead, I’m going to tell you what to do.
I will tell you what to do in the midst of your suffering—so that you can overcome your suffering. How you can turn your Good Friday into your Easter Sunday!
Are you ready?
Let me share with you a powerful story…
Your Greatest Curse Can Turn To Be
Your Greatest Blessing
Michelangelo had a persecutor who was very jealous of him.
(I don’t mean the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but the real Michelangelo.)
The persecutor’s name was Bramante, a famous architect during that time.
By the way, do you know Bramante? I’m positive 99% of you never heard of him. Do you notice how persecutors fade away in the dust, but the one they persecute become legends? An important lesson to remember!
When Pope Julius thought of making a tomb, he asked Michelangelo to do it.
But when Bramante heard of it—and thought of the acclaim that Michelangelo would receive from it—he discouraged the Pope from continuing with the project. True enough, after Michelangelo searched far and wide for the perfect marble for the project—which took 8 long months—he learned that the Pope had abandoned the project. Michelangelo was very disappointed.
One day, the Pope thought of another project.
Upon hearing about it, Bramante concluded that it would be a time-consuming project and would receive very little public acclaim. So he told the Pope to give it to Michelangelo. In his mind, it would keep the artist busy for years—and accomplish nothing of great value.
Besides, it was also a painting job, and Bramante knew that Michelangelo was not even a painter, but a sculptor.
Michelangelo saw the trap. He knew it was a ploy by his enemy to destroy him. At first, he declined. But the Pope insisted, and not wanting to deny his Holiness, he agreed.
The project was indeed time-consuming. It took Michelangelo 4 years to finish, and he almost lost his eyesight because of it…
I’m sure you know the project by now: The Sistine Chapel. The grandest masterpiece of Michelangelo. More than anything, it made him one of the greatest painters of all time.
What was meant to curse him turned out to be his greatest blessing.
Good Friday was supposed to be the greatest curse.
Yet it also turned out to be the greatest blessing.
No Matter What Trials Come,
Keep Doing The Good You’re Supposed To Do
I reflect on this story and look at my own life.
I’ve been serving God for that past 27 years, and I do get my share of little “Bramante’s” scattered here and there.
But without them, I would have missed my greatest blessings: spiritual growth, opportunities to serve, and the impact I have on people’s lives.
My biggest Bramante’s were the two men who molested me as a child.
Because of these indescribable painful experiences, I’ve been able to heal so many people who have the same inner wounds. (You can read more about this in two of my books, Your Past Does Not Define Your Future, and 7 Secrets To Real Freedom.)
I could also think of my other trials in life…
Oh, why do bad things happen to good people?
Here’s my great theological answer: I don’t know.
But this I know. No matter what trials come, I’ll do the good that I’m supposed to do.
And at the end of the day, I will win.
Friend, remain faithful to God in good times and in bad times.
And you’ll see how all things work for good to those who love Him.
And you’ll see how your Good Friday will turn to Easter Sunday.
Don’t ever give up!
May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez
Friday, February 29, 2008
Make-over pleazze!
If my blog could talk, guess it would ask for a make-over! Yes I admit, my blog is somewhat dull and boring..hehe..As I said, it's meant to express not to impress, so I don't really mind! But then, there's no harm trying for a new look though it may eat up my time. Nwy, I'll be making it a real "blog" one of these coming days. ciao!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
So many things to do, so little done!
waaaa! Have lots and lots of things to do, concerns to focus on but..oh my..so little done! Nwy, I can do all things thru Him who strengthens me!!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Hurt Survey
This Is The Hurt Survey. Got this from my bulletin.
Let's see if you’re tough enough to get
through it. If not, you're too scared
about the truth.
1. Would you kiss the last person you
kissed, again?
-hmmm..ewan depende sa circumstances..hehe..
2. Have you told anyone you'd marry
them?
-parang oo na..those times when I don’t know what am talking about..wahaha
3. Have you ever liked someone so much
that it hurts?
-yes
4. Have you ever made a bf/gf cry?
-sabi nila oo daw
5. Are you happier single or in a
relationship?
-single as of now..
6. Have you ever told someone you
loved them and didn't mean it?
-ye ye..
7. Have you ever had your heart broken?
-oo nmn! But MY FATHER made it whole again..
8. Have you ever broken someone else's
heart?
-oo na ata..
9. Do you still talk to your exes?
-oo
10. Last time you kissed someone?
-days ago..hehe..ang cuutttte kong inaanak..si be-ann!!
11. If you could go back in time and
change things, would you?
-i'd rather not to..i dnt know what the consequences may be..the next series of events may be worst than what ive been through..
12. Do you think you are a good bf/gf?
-both good, bad and naughty..harharhar
13. Do you believe everyone deserves a
second chance?
-oo nmn, kahit 7 times 7 to the nth infinity..hehe
14. Have u ever liked anyone else's
bf/gf?
-actually oo..but am battling against it..hehe
15. Like anyone right now?
-uu, kaso I easily fall kaya am still battling against that simple Liking w/c may go beyond….
17. Does that person like you back?
-oo nmn! wahaha..ambisyosa!!
18. What are you going to do tonight?
-sleep, watch tv, reflect, pray
19. How do you feel right now?
-ewan..halo halo..hehe
21. Have you ever been kissed upside
down?
-d pa, pero pwd itry..wahahha
22. What would you like to say to one
person on your mind?
-h!
Repost this as "The Hurt Survey"
Let's see if you’re tough enough to get
through it. If not, you're too scared
about the truth.
1. Would you kiss the last person you
kissed, again?
-hmmm..ewan depende sa circumstances..hehe..
2. Have you told anyone you'd marry
them?
-parang oo na..those times when I don’t know what am talking about..wahaha
3. Have you ever liked someone so much
that it hurts?
-yes
4. Have you ever made a bf/gf cry?
-sabi nila oo daw
5. Are you happier single or in a
relationship?
-single as of now..
6. Have you ever told someone you
loved them and didn't mean it?
-ye ye..
7. Have you ever had your heart broken?
-oo nmn! But MY FATHER made it whole again..
8. Have you ever broken someone else's
heart?
-oo na ata..
9. Do you still talk to your exes?
-oo
10. Last time you kissed someone?
-days ago..hehe..ang cuutttte kong inaanak..si be-ann!!
11. If you could go back in time and
change things, would you?
-i'd rather not to..i dnt know what the consequences may be..the next series of events may be worst than what ive been through..
12. Do you think you are a good bf/gf?
-both good, bad and naughty..harharhar
13. Do you believe everyone deserves a
second chance?
-oo nmn, kahit 7 times 7 to the nth infinity..hehe
14. Have u ever liked anyone else's
bf/gf?
-actually oo..but am battling against it..hehe
15. Like anyone right now?
-uu, kaso I easily fall kaya am still battling against that simple Liking w/c may go beyond….
17. Does that person like you back?
-oo nmn! wahaha..ambisyosa!!
18. What are you going to do tonight?
-sleep, watch tv, reflect, pray
19. How do you feel right now?
-ewan..halo halo..hehe
21. Have you ever been kissed upside
down?
-d pa, pero pwd itry..wahahha
22. What would you like to say to one
person on your mind?
-h!
Repost this as "The Hurt Survey"
Friday, January 25, 2008
Bwahahaha!
I was roaming over the net when I tripped on this post from Trip. In fairness..natawa ako..hehe..kaya go na rin..basa!!
It was jazz an ordinary day.
The skies were clear, the birds were chipping. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw!
Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries. Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie nya. Grabe, andaming fans, pull-packed talaga! Dahil fans nya rin ako, nakipila na rin ako.
Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng : "Indaaayyyyy..."
Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now?
"Dodong!" sigaw ko.
Napalakas yata voice ko. Kasi the other fans turned their backs to their
behind at napatingin sa amin. Sabi ko "Sorry, I didn't mean to be loud and proud." Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd.
"Kamusta na Inday? Do you come here open?" tanong nya.
"Bihira lang, Dodong. I'm just droppings by. Ethnic ang schedule ko eh" sabi ko.
Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong?
Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimple ni Aga, at bigote ni Rex Cortez. He's
every woman's dreamboat. I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala ko si Dodong. Contraction worker siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin. Naging kami for a while then after that were not an item anymore.
"Tanghali na Inday. What did you say we have lunch together?" tanong ni Dodong.
"I don't mine" sagot ko.
Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter. "What's your odor sir?"
sabi nung waiter kay Dodong.
"Do you have porkshop?" tanong ni Dodong.
"Yes sir" sabi nito. "Our porkshop with a resistance to the teeth of boast of our chef. Domestic careful selection of pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking which repeated trial and error and was completed. It also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully" dagdag pa niya.
"And you mam?" sabay tingin naman sa akin.
Hmmm..mukhang masarap yung porkshop. Pero I'm cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko.
"I'll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh."sagot ko.
Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong manood ng sine. Teka teka, this is going too far. Besides, it's a long, long, way to run.
"Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I'm happily married" pagmamalaki ko.
"Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry pero I didn't expect you still have more feelings than I expected. I don't want you getting the way. Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect." dagdag ko pa.
Tumahimik sya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin. The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity. Di nagla-on, nagsalita na rin sya.
"I don't care less!" sigaw ni Dodong.
Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako! To think it's his other woman that caused our separation to part.
Kinabahan na ako. I felt speedbumps all over my body and was having panic attach. Tinalikuran ko siya at nagmadali akong lumakad palayo. Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a monkey on my butt. Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard. Biglang nawala si Dodong.
"Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?" sabi ko sa mamang guard.
"Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure." sagot niya.
"Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes."
"Diretso lang."sabi niya. "Then turn right anytime with care."
"Thanks for your corporation" sabi ko.
Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy. As I turned, nakita ko na namang nakasunod si Dodong! Delaying static lang pala kanina ang pag-disappear nya.
"Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Inday. No matter where you go, there you are!" pananakot nya.
Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable. My world
started falling afar.
Then suddenly, Jay come from behind! Dodong was caught to the act! In the matter of minute, it's all over. I'm out of arm's way.
"Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you.?" bago pa man ako matapos, sabi niya:
"I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn't give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong magkahawak
ng holding hands, then I give it a thought. I know something is a missed."
From then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn't even
sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga.
Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing pa rin ang relationship. Lalo pa
ngayon, open na kami sa isa't-isa at walang exhibitions. I feel I'm on
cloudline.
It was jazz an ordinary day.
The skies were clear, the birds were chipping. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw!
Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries. Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie nya. Grabe, andaming fans, pull-packed talaga! Dahil fans nya rin ako, nakipila na rin ako.
Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng : "Indaaayyyyy..."
Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now?
"Dodong!" sigaw ko.
Napalakas yata voice ko. Kasi the other fans turned their backs to their
behind at napatingin sa amin. Sabi ko "Sorry, I didn't mean to be loud and proud." Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd.
"Kamusta na Inday? Do you come here open?" tanong nya.
"Bihira lang, Dodong. I'm just droppings by. Ethnic ang schedule ko eh" sabi ko.
Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong?
Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimple ni Aga, at bigote ni Rex Cortez. He's
every woman's dreamboat. I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala ko si Dodong. Contraction worker siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin. Naging kami for a while then after that were not an item anymore.
"Tanghali na Inday. What did you say we have lunch together?" tanong ni Dodong.
"I don't mine" sagot ko.
Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter. "What's your odor sir?"
sabi nung waiter kay Dodong.
"Do you have porkshop?" tanong ni Dodong.
"Yes sir" sabi nito. "Our porkshop with a resistance to the teeth of boast of our chef. Domestic careful selection of pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking which repeated trial and error and was completed. It also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully" dagdag pa niya.
"And you mam?" sabay tingin naman sa akin.
Hmmm..mukhang masarap yung porkshop. Pero I'm cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko.
"I'll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh."sagot ko.
Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong manood ng sine. Teka teka, this is going too far. Besides, it's a long, long, way to run.
"Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I'm happily married" pagmamalaki ko.
"Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry pero I didn't expect you still have more feelings than I expected. I don't want you getting the way. Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect." dagdag ko pa.
Tumahimik sya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin. The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity. Di nagla-on, nagsalita na rin sya.
"I don't care less!" sigaw ni Dodong.
Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako! To think it's his other woman that caused our separation to part.
Kinabahan na ako. I felt speedbumps all over my body and was having panic attach. Tinalikuran ko siya at nagmadali akong lumakad palayo. Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a monkey on my butt. Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard. Biglang nawala si Dodong.
"Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?" sabi ko sa mamang guard.
"Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure." sagot niya.
"Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes."
"Diretso lang."sabi niya. "Then turn right anytime with care."
"Thanks for your corporation" sabi ko.
Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy. As I turned, nakita ko na namang nakasunod si Dodong! Delaying static lang pala kanina ang pag-disappear nya.
"Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Inday. No matter where you go, there you are!" pananakot nya.
Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable. My world
started falling afar.
Then suddenly, Jay come from behind! Dodong was caught to the act! In the matter of minute, it's all over. I'm out of arm's way.
"Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you.?" bago pa man ako matapos, sabi niya:
"I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn't give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong magkahawak
ng holding hands, then I give it a thought. I know something is a missed."
From then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn't even
sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga.
Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing pa rin ang relationship. Lalo pa
ngayon, open na kami sa isa't-isa at walang exhibitions. I feel I'm on
cloudline.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
The year that was..and the year that will be..
Yes, another year has ended once again, and here comes another year. As I look back over the past year, I could say that it's a battle well fought! 2007 was a year of struggles, conflicts and tears as reflected in my past posts ( the oh so dramatic emotional posts..hehe) but at this point I realized that it was indeed meant for a higher purpose.
S far, 2007 was the year I had the most painful heartbreak (..I don't know if the worst is still yet to come..uh oh..). However, along with the tears and pains are the lessons and values that I learned the hard way. Pain they say is a signal for growth. Remember the story of the clam that complained of the pain on his back which turns out to be a growing pearl? How about the caterpillar which must go through the hard way of coming out of its cocoon to squeeze out the liquid from its body and be the beautiful butterfly it is meant to be? Or how about the story of the potter and the clay? The clay was nothing but a mere clay but the potter takes it and molds it into a magnificent pot. However, the clay complained and complained because of the pain that it got into as the potter shaped and reshaped it and exposed it to fire and air. Good thing the potter didn't give up so in the end, the clay was molded into a beautiful pot.
I am also the clam, the butterfly and the clay. In the past year, I struggled through pains and tears. Whew! There are times when tears just flowed from my eyes with almost no reason at all.( but I'm still w/in my sanity.. those were the times when my emotions just skyrocket) Yes, I admit. I'm too sensitive. I'm too emotional although it may not be that obvious but deep down, I really am. I'm too weak deep down but you know what? I proved that my weakness is my strength because at that moment when I have no one, nothing to hold on to and cling to, in those moments that I'm really down (as in 0 degree below the ground), that I’m really too weak; that's the time when I truly surrendered to the Higher power, and allowed it to take over. Prayers indeed work wonders. As the burden became heavier, greater than my own limited strength, I had no other choice left but to kneel down and look up. That's the moment of my surrender, the moment when I let go of my resistance. The more I resist, the more painful it gets but as I open up, go with the flow of emotions and surrender, that's when I find release. Tears became my means for expressing inner grief that words cannot utterly express.
Along those times when I thought I was alone, when I have no one to turn to, God was there with me. I really don't know how to say it but I felt it. That sort of moment when you were really crying, then you pray and offer it all to Him knowing that He very well knows what you really feel since He is your creator. And after which, you just felt ok ,as if the tears have washed away the pains. As I look back, circumstances have conspired to light up my path. The circumstances I encountered served as my mentors to help me see and understand what I was going through.
As of now, I'm still in the process of getting over those memories but I have high hopes for this year. And I am imploring all the positive forces to be with me as I once again take my journey. I know there will be moments of pains and tears which can even be worst than what I’ve been through but I know I can get through because our Creator, our Boss, our Master and our Best Friend, and at the same time the all powerful King of Kings is with us, and in us.
As He promised:
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
We may have big problems but there is a BIGGER GOD out there who will be us to get through it. So whatever difficulty you may be going through right now or will be going through, lay it all down on His cross and hope for the best! May our hearts be open and be wide enough for all His blessings!
S far, 2007 was the year I had the most painful heartbreak (..I don't know if the worst is still yet to come..uh oh..). However, along with the tears and pains are the lessons and values that I learned the hard way. Pain they say is a signal for growth. Remember the story of the clam that complained of the pain on his back which turns out to be a growing pearl? How about the caterpillar which must go through the hard way of coming out of its cocoon to squeeze out the liquid from its body and be the beautiful butterfly it is meant to be? Or how about the story of the potter and the clay? The clay was nothing but a mere clay but the potter takes it and molds it into a magnificent pot. However, the clay complained and complained because of the pain that it got into as the potter shaped and reshaped it and exposed it to fire and air. Good thing the potter didn't give up so in the end, the clay was molded into a beautiful pot.
I am also the clam, the butterfly and the clay. In the past year, I struggled through pains and tears. Whew! There are times when tears just flowed from my eyes with almost no reason at all.( but I'm still w/in my sanity.. those were the times when my emotions just skyrocket) Yes, I admit. I'm too sensitive. I'm too emotional although it may not be that obvious but deep down, I really am. I'm too weak deep down but you know what? I proved that my weakness is my strength because at that moment when I have no one, nothing to hold on to and cling to, in those moments that I'm really down (as in 0 degree below the ground), that I’m really too weak; that's the time when I truly surrendered to the Higher power, and allowed it to take over. Prayers indeed work wonders. As the burden became heavier, greater than my own limited strength, I had no other choice left but to kneel down and look up. That's the moment of my surrender, the moment when I let go of my resistance. The more I resist, the more painful it gets but as I open up, go with the flow of emotions and surrender, that's when I find release. Tears became my means for expressing inner grief that words cannot utterly express.
Along those times when I thought I was alone, when I have no one to turn to, God was there with me. I really don't know how to say it but I felt it. That sort of moment when you were really crying, then you pray and offer it all to Him knowing that He very well knows what you really feel since He is your creator. And after which, you just felt ok ,as if the tears have washed away the pains. As I look back, circumstances have conspired to light up my path. The circumstances I encountered served as my mentors to help me see and understand what I was going through.
As of now, I'm still in the process of getting over those memories but I have high hopes for this year. And I am imploring all the positive forces to be with me as I once again take my journey. I know there will be moments of pains and tears which can even be worst than what I’ve been through but I know I can get through because our Creator, our Boss, our Master and our Best Friend, and at the same time the all powerful King of Kings is with us, and in us.
As He promised:
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
We may have big problems but there is a BIGGER GOD out there who will be us to get through it. So whatever difficulty you may be going through right now or will be going through, lay it all down on His cross and hope for the best! May our hearts be open and be wide enough for all His blessings!
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